I know we all wish there are two bibles. One, on how to raise our children right. Two, how to make our marriage (sex & love life) work with all the energy, time & effort already spent on the children (and work).
I always think it’s so important for moms to share all of our experiences with each other - the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s why I am so glad that I have a group of girlfriends whom are also in the same ship as I am - you know, the baby is unwell I need to take emergency leave but I am afraid boss is gonna yell at me or how-the-f do I know if my baby is full, she keeps crying non stop! That kinda stuff - and much more!
I share most of my personal stuff with them. Of course there are some issues that I'd keep for myself - my personal marriage issues for instant. I try to handle our marriage issues ourselves. I chose to do this because I do not want outsiders to influence on how I truly feel about the love of my life. And of course its a matter of respect. I would not want my husband to go around sharing the bad stuff about me to his friends. So I should not do it either.
But my girlfriends and I share all the tips and tricks in raising our children. We have this groupchat that we named 'SUPER MUMMIES'. Such narcissists, we are :)
I just happen to think by having such support system, we parents can find some reassurance knowing that we’ve all been there, and most of us do pull through it. That we’re not the only ones. And indirectly, by knowing that we are not such bad parents after all - we have a peace of mind and able to put in time and energy, as tough as it is, as tired as we are, and commit to working our relationship out. In the end, the marriage will be stronger for it.