I will sing you to me

Where do I begin?

I have accepted the job offer. I am going to Bangladesh in two weeks time. I didn't want to but I actually do. Wtf?! I mean, I don't want to be away from honey but same time, I know that this opportunity won't come too often, to some it never come at all. So I am doing this, for the sake of our future, our financial and most importantly my career. I know I can do better than what I did. I know I am definitely more talented than how I potrait myself. I may not be the perfect sophisticated young lady in suit. I maybe the failed young (half) lawyer. But, goddamnit, I am good.

So, having thought so deeply about the pros and cons, I think three months is fine. It is do-able. This is the time for me to shine. To grow up. To prove to people and especially myself that I worth more than just being an executive in a local company, working my ass off and getting shit pay.

Yeap. This new job requires me to be the one leg kick. I will do everything. I will set up a new office in a foreign company. Yes, I am talking about cleaning the office to operate it, all by myself, (and of course with the new GM's help) away from home.

The management team will be sending one person from each department i.e accounts, MIS, logistic and admin one week one person to help me to oversee the whole initial process of settling down. Feel good to know that I will have a piece of home every week for three weeks (at least, better than nothing). And, I hope they will send him there too. Honey, I will sing you to me! So just hear me.

My birthday is in early of February and I will be celebrating alone on a foreign land. Urm. Well, I am no longer 18 so it should be okay, right? Right? Hmm. Whatever!

Have you ever loved someone, you became so dependent on him / her? I have and I still do. Deep inside my heart, I am scared that I will face problem to fall asleep every night cause he wont be there to hug me. To provide his arms to substitute the pillow cause I always prefer his arms rather than pillows. Aiyo, is that too much? I know. I know I was brought up in boarding school for years. But!

Who's going to kiss me in the morning. Who's going to prepare me breakfast before work, who's going to have lunch with me, who's going to bear with my biatch attitude? Who's going to make me teh-o-ais? Who's going to company me while watching TV (if there is a TV there)? Who's going to tuck me in to sleep? Who's going to do this and that for me? Stupid! I am writing like a poppycock! Bloody emotions!

Being spoiled is therefore a pleasure that is hard to resist so apart from missing him, this three months work trip will be harder because of the whole independence issue. I am curious on how the people infected with love out there are capable of being away from each other yet still remain the sweetness in the relationship and not acting like this, like me.

Being positive, I told myself (all over again) that three months is nothing as time flies.

I can't give up, not before I try. Not before I start. So wish me luck. And ladies, please don't flirt or tackle my hubby or I'll burn your ass off after I cut them into pieces with my rambo knife!

I mean it! Don't judge me. I trust my hubby. I just don't trust women!

....later!