Yesterday, I told honey;
"Honey I think I have decided that I am not going to keep doing this. They come and go in my life as they wish. When they think that I should be invited, they will invite or else I will only see the pictures of them having fun online. The reason, because I am working. Oh well if they really have the heart to even ask me whether or not I am working, they can at least sms me or call me first right? Oh boy, maybe it is just me.You know why I still want to keep this friendship, honey? Because I thought I still need them. I thought I still need friends to hang out. I mean, apart from you. I thought I need them, no matter how hurt I feel deep inside, being left out. Yea.... maybe I am being sensitive. But I also do have feeling right?.......
.....Hey, am I that bad of a friend?"
Then that poor guy finally got a chance to speak (I love you for this baby...);
"Hey, no you are not. You were always being a good friend and still are. They just do not know how to appreciate you. So just slip it out, okay?"
What happened is, I suddenly got carried away by some bunch of friends who treats me like chipsmore. They call me when they want. They promise to see me then simply break it without even telling me. For a minute, I was thinking that I have no other friends. I was being simply silly. I know.
Yes. I was totally wrong.
I DO have
Firstly, Ajiera. She never failed to make me feel loved. She is the one I will invite to all my family occasions. She is the one I will call in the middle of any nights when I found out from Mr. Doctor that I am pregnant or I finally got my piece of scroll. She is the one I will only tell when I fight with Mr. Lovely (cause I do not tell people about my life as I am a very secretive person when it comes to relationship). Hey you, I love you!
Liza, we share a very beautiful bond from the first day we met. And we still do, baby!
Azyati and Muharir. They are one lovely couple I love by the distance.
Eida, a girl I always miss. No matter what the life reality is. No matter how bad my situation is, I never feel ashamed to call myself as your friend. And I think we owe each other some milk :)
Aimy, Fasha, Lai, Gerg, Hora, Waida, Elly, Anis, Ju, Rina, Yaya, you are the ones that I will always put in my guest list for anything I want to do. I miss having your companies. You guys rock.
Cho and Fahmi, I personally owe you two a lot. Not too much if I say, I love you guys? :)
Arif, hey you are my coolest mate! You are the one I do not mind to share my stories with :)
Ilham, you are the one. What ever happened, you were the one who was there for me when I needed a good friend. Thanks!
The rest... Jaa, Abby, Zamani, Fia, Linda, Lenny, Al, Apek, Nana, Zaim, Azim, Pian, Hermie, Jhuar, Syuk, Raja, Dayah, Zero, Asyraf, Dayat, Haifa, Aini, Aira, Ana,Mashiroh, Ily, Annis, Anep, Hanif, Azman, Meni, Sue, Amir, Qayyum, Rahdy, Dijah, Mirah, Ezie, Fia, Fiza, Seniq, Qima, Syie, Fizah, Beddy, Ravin, Reedzki, Pjoe, Anne, Najib, Hafiz, Aidil, Halim, Azma, Sofi, PG, Mihsan and everybody who I do not mention here. We have shared our 5 beautiful years together and I certainly know that we couldn't ask for more.
P/S I love you all and those who read this entry and cannot find your names anywhere, please leave a message because I write this on a spontaneous basis. No preparations. And definitely not having any names list in my hands.