Thursday, November 5, 2009
Happy 5th birthday, my son!
Dear my precious son,
Today is your birthday. You are 5 years old and obviously you are a big boy now. Oh dear, sometimes I can't accept the fact that you are growing so fast. Who will listen to me talking rubbish when you have grown old enough to understand that what I share with you is nothing but rubbish?
It's been a while since I last wrote you a letter. I guess work has been occupying me. And I do realise that I spend less time with you for these past months. I often leave you with Daddy. I am so sorry. I really am. I thought that I needed to do all this so that you can have your favourite food, nice branded outfits and a fancy birthday party. Although, I still think that it is true.
Today, I actually do not know what to write but I must write something. So that when you are able to read all these letters that I write to you, you will smile and come to me to give me a warm hug and nice kiss. I like it when you do that.
Like last night after I finished reading you bedtime story and you hugged me so tight and kissed me on my lips. I'd trade everything in to have that moment every night before sleep.
There are a lot of things that I learnt from onyang (your late great grandmother) when I was growing up which I want to pass on to you. And those are the things that keep me going and giving me strength to raise you up to become a good person. Like how I became (at least I do feel that I am a good person, by heart no matter what people might think about what type of person I have grew up to become).
I want so many things for you. Everyday, I pray to God that He will make things easier for you in your life.
I want you to live with hospitality so that you will learn how to fight. To fight for yourself. To fight for the people that you care. And to fight for the people that are around you.
I want you to live with tolerance so that you will learn to be more patient. At least, to be more patient than me. Patience is very important my son. It makes you appreciate things that you've achieved after the effort you made.
I want you to live with encouragement. So that you will become confident. These past weeks, you keep telling people who tell you not to talk too much that the reason you talk a lot is because you want to become a lawyer. Like my Mummy, you said. And when people tell you that lawyers can not make a lot of money, you will encounter them back "then how come my mummy has so much money?". How adorable. See, that's what I meant by confident. You are always so confident even when others are not. But, remember my son. You can be confident but never over confident. That will kill our confidence and leave us with nothing.
I want you to live with praise so that you will learn to appreciate. Believe me, my son, this is very important.
I want you to live with approval so that you will learn to like yourself.
I want you to live with acceptance so that you will learn to find love in this world. Oh by the way, I just learnt last night that love isn't a feeling. Love is an ability and Auntie Bwooie says that love is also a choice. That, you will learn in couple more years.
Mummy wants you to live with sharing so that you will learn to be generous.
I want you to live with honesty and fairness so that you will learn what truth and justice are. After all, lawyer is what you want to become, right?
I want you to live with security so that you will learn to have faith in yourself and in those around you. And to answer your question this morning, no there is no ghost my darling. Really.
I want you to live in friendliness so that you will learn that world is a nice place to live.
I want you live with serenity so that you will learn to have peace of mind.
These are what I want for you. Now tell me what do you want apart from the expensive kiddo laptop?