Tuesday, March 17, 2009

déjà vu or a dream

I woke up this morning thinking whether it was just a dream. And then I saw the haunted box, lying calmly on the side table next to me.

Whether or not it was a dream, it disturbs me. Badly. How hard I try not to think of it, I still do. Everytime I see Penang plat number, or when I see anything that relates to Penang. Anything that relates to hotel room. Bed. Blanket. Or anything. It can be, asam laksa. It can be satay. It can even be any type of Penang food or Penang people. Or places in Penang. Sometimes, it still happens when it doesn't even relate to Penang. It's getting worse now that the same date is approaching. I feel like déjà vu. I feel like I have the same experience of feeling sure that I have witnessed or experienced this. I can produce a complete script and a movie out of my thinking. I can assume what happened and keep thinking about it. My heart will start to beat so fast I can feel that it's going to pop.

I am just a little girl lost in the moment. I'm so scared but don't show it. I can't figure it out it's bringing me down. I know. I've got to let it go and just enjoy the show.

Be content like I should. Like this.
one must have loved, then unloved, then love again..~Aimy


  1. you've got to let it go babe. i dunno how but just let it go. time heals.

  2. babess,what can i say? we are women. complicated human beings whom keep making things difficult for ourselves.sigh.maybe you you can settle all this. face it. throw it away. far far away.

  3. Hey babe, I tried. I even hmm to be honest, I dont know how. Yuck. The imagination is disgusting. You would want to vomit blood.

  4. Yeah, it's not as easy as it sounds when we talk about letting go but time has always proved to be the perfect healer.

  5. Daniel,

    Yea, I hate it when people keep telling me "just let it go. past is past"

    Let's hope time will heal this :D

  6. then you should try to vomit it out.everything babes.i mean,lets treat it as the most disgusting thing ever.as in nobody would ever want to taste it.eww.by writing this i feel like puking!love you babes.

  7. so this is one of THE sadism in your perfect life? the ones which rarely come to you. but when it comes, it hurts you so badly that you think everybody is at fault but not you? have you ever thought this maybe was your fault? that it was you who was not worthy? you are such a sadist! grow up!

  8. Tasha,

    Babes, it is real disgusting but to think of it maybe there's something to learn. I am actually very proud of myself. In fact, I am doing kinda OK today. I know that this is nothing compared to what others have been through. Having you guys around, I don't think so I will let this ruin me. I love you too.

  9. Anonymous,

    What's the point of reading my blog? I can smell that you hate me or since HATE is a strong word, I shall rephrase it to: dislike me. Or is it because you are looking for some blunder that I might write so that you can shoot me by telling me that I am a sadist? I don't know who you are but I don't usually get hated so easily. So I guess I have done something really bad towards you by my writings, that caused this unpleasant way of commenting.

  10. so anonymous,do you actually know who she is? if you do, you will know that she is a perfect friend one can have.and she is too far to be a sadist as you claimed.

    i guess i've just backed you up la babe :P

  11. Tasha babe dahlin',

    Awww thank you :D I know I am a good friend.


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