The Juicy Bunny's Best Kept Secret Journal

Happy New Year 2012!

2012-01-03T10:44:00.000+08:00

Hello my beautiful people. I know. I know I have not been writing. Lotsa things happened. Resigned my previous job (yeah the one I loved so much), went for islands hopping during the break, started my new job and now its new year again.

Spent the eve in bed. Well, not exactly in bed (why people always say that?). More like wandering around the house with tissue stucked in nostrils. Oh well.

Was on medical leave for two days last week, followed by the so called long weekend.

Watched 2 silly movies back to back at GSC MV and spent the rest of the eve at home. Thank God for The Entourage marathon! And lots and lots of ice cream.

Anyway, here wishing you a Happy New Year 2012! I told my loved ones that this New Year is all about LOVE! Then all else will come. Don't forget to be kinder to each other, hold your grounds and stay beautiful.

Love always, Y.

Exploited

2011-08-24T17:33:00.001+08:00

Have you came across people who purposely share poignant stories with the intention to gain your compassion so you will put up with an awful news they are about to present to you? Is it silly for us to give in knowing that they did it with an aim?

Just an idiom. Or not.

I have a feeling that someone has been using that tactic on me. Feel like being used, just because I pity people easily.

2011-08-23T16:50:00.000+08:00

I hate this time of the year.

I miss you so badly.

Future Project

2011-07-27T13:30:00.002+08:00

I am currently working on a little project. Let's keep fingers crossed it will be materialised.

x

A little dream

2011-07-27T13:29:00.000+08:00

To my Maker I pray everyday, to give me strength and courage for me to
materialise my dream to build a home for the olds and less fortunate
children before I take my last breath in this beautiful world I was given a
chance to live in.

Sent from Yan's BlackBerry®

A goal

2011-07-06T12:19:00.000+08:00

Aiming. Praying. Working on it.

Critics

2011-07-06T12:14:00.002+08:00

Critics. It's often being misused. Make it obstructive, not destructive please.

Praise

2011-07-06T12:12:00.001+08:00

Praise is the key to success. When you begin to praise someone, you teach her to have respect for herself. People will love you more, and shall welcome you anywhere no matter who you are and where you have been, when you are always praising others. And do it sincerely!

Miss

2011-07-05T15:07:00.003+08:00

I miss being away. I miss being missed.

But can't afford another holiday until next year. Saving money for something, although so far doesn't seem to work.

I miss Phuket.

Leadership

2011-07-05T12:23:00.003+08:00

Have you been well at work? I have been rather unhappy at work lately. Not quite sure what caused it. Or maybe I do.

But one of the reasons that caused me to be unhappy is the way someone (with much bigger power than me) works. I sometimes have issue with people with power.

It works in a very funny way(?). I get easily attracted with MEN with power and as most of you might have perceived, I don't get along with WOMEN with power easily, especially the unmarried late thirties.

When I say I don't get along doesn't mean I can't work with them. I just can't have their company at WIP.

However, in this situation, it is not the age or sex or more power issue; this someone makes the power looks bad by not having a sense of leadership. This can be a serious affair. In reality, most superiors would not know if their leadership is welcomed or not. Just how do you know if your leadership is appreciated?

Many superiors are so engrossed in their pursuits, they forget about their personality, they forget to treat people the right way, and most of all, they treat some of their subordinates with an extra bias which makes others very unhappy. In this case, it is me.

The only way to find out if your leadership is wanted or not is by getting feedback from your subordinates or teammates.

And the other trait a superior should have is the power of sharing. Share the info, would you? I have been so left out at work because that someone is not good in keeping me in the loop.

I may have exaggerated it but wouldn't you feel the same way that I do if you were in my shoes?

Feel so estranged in my own home :(

My wish for you, my love

2011-05-24T17:57:00.001+08:00

Isaac Lim,

Lots of love,
Mummy

Labour Day Weekend Fashion Carnival

2011-04-28T21:05:00.000+08:00

I will be opening a booth (selling Juicy Closet clothes & my very own pre-loved collections) at Labour Day Weekend Fashion Carnival located at Subang Avenue (next to Carrefour) this Sunday (1st May 2011) from 12pm to 6pm. Hope to see you beautiful people there x
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Holla from Phuket & Krabi

2011-04-18T13:08:00.001+08:00

--
Yan

Prayer

2011-03-23T15:11:00.001+08:00

My best friend's mum was admitted to hospital last month. Went through numerous number of surgeries. Today is her 40th day being hospitalised. Bestie has been running around - high and low trying to juggle her time. She has not been sleeping well. Has been working from hospital and I am sure she has not been eating well either. I try to drop by as often as I can but there's nothing much we can do except for praying to Him, to give us strenght at this crucial time. Guys, please remember her in your prayers tonight please?

Hugs and kisses.

--
Yan

Karma

2011-03-08T15:15:00.003+08:00

It seems like I have done something terrible last year (or in my past lives).

Last week, I passed out at office and caused a bit of commotion. Been hospitalised for 2 days. Insurance declined to cover the bills, had to pay on our own. And my 'new' car has been giving some problems, here and there. In and out of workshop. That and this. And that.

Well, but that doesn't mean I have stopped smiling - at all. Which probably means I also did something really good last year, or in my past lives. Gratitude, that keeps me grounded.

Rintangan. Obstacles. Hiccups. Problems. Whatever you prefer to say it, someone told me that these are just a way to learn something. A way to evolve. A way to be a better person. And don't you agree if I say that it is just a reason to cry? Humans NEED to cry, don't we?

P.s My apology to that someone whom somebody close to me has hurt. I'm sure he had his reason, and I'm really hoping it is a good one. However, whether or not he did, it wasn't supposed to be handled that way, I know. So, I'm sorry. Drop by for tea, one of these days? :)

Hugs.

Truth

2011-02-22T14:33:00.001+08:00

Oh, when was the last time I blogged? Doesn't really matter cause I am sure no one is reading.

Been reading lotsa poems lately (hence my last two posts). Even thought of buying all those hard covers - because I thought it would be cool to have them on my coffee table.

Managed to go through some of my most oldest posts. Reminiscing old memories. Those were the days when I used to blog a lot, wrote about every thing that I had in mind. Most things. And then, came a time when I got so busy and a part of me thought 'what is there to prove? What is there to show to the world?'. A tiny part of me (which convinced me) that I was only blogging because I was either unhappy or I was trying to prove something to the world.

Was it true?

True or not, does it really matter?

Love Letter

2011-02-22T14:17:00.001+08:00

"Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us ...

Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits ...

No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves ... Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men ...

My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once ...

Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

Ever thine,
Ever mine,
Ever ours."
— Ludwig van Beethoven (The Letters of Beethoven)

Forever

2011-02-22T14:11:00.001+08:00

"Forever yours
Forever mine
Forever us"

~ Ludwig Van Beethoven

I wanna grow old with you

2011-02-06T22:49:00.000+08:00

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing in everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

December and January Update via iPad ;)

2011-01-25T12:55:00.008+08:00

My life has been mostly about work. What's new?

Isaac is now in primary school. He is enjoying every bits of school. The friends, the sports clubs, the home works, the food at canteen. Things are great on that - and I am more than grateful no words can describe.

There have been quite a number of hiccups that happened recently. In early December I was in Comilla, a small district in Dhaka, Bangladesh for a work trip. I was supposed to be there for 6 days. On the 3rd day, at about 1.30am I received a call from home. My brother, who was crying at the other end of the early phone call gave me a saddening news that my father (biological father) has just passed away. I informed him that I was actually in Bangladesh, that there was no way I will be able to make it back on time for the funeral. The place I was at is a small town which usually takes approximately 2 to 3 hours but at that ime, it took almost 8 hours of journey from/to Dhaka city due to bad traffic which caused by a festive season celebrated.

However, after a lot of thoughts, discussions with my boss, 8 hours journey back to Dhaka city, mixed feelings - I flew back in the next flight. Didn't manage to make it for the funeral but I managed to be with the family - at least.

Towards the end of December, Isaac fell ill due to food poisoning. Hubby and I were devastated as Isaac was really weak and he missed his first day of school (that he so looked forward to since months) because he was admitted to hospital. He was discharged on the 2nd day and he continued to receive treatments at home. He attended school 3 days later than his friends but he never looked back until today :)

Things started to look slightly better but I guess before the year of Tiger ends, God just wanna give us another challenge; last week my car broke down just a few kilometers away from airport when I was rushing to catch my flight to Bangkok. I eventually managed to catch my flight but my car was admitted to workshop and required some fixings. And that cost us another 2k.

Thank God, that I still managed to keep myself sane. And thankfully I haven't lost my patience. And maybe after all the hiccups that He gave me, He finally made a counter offer to win my heart back. He gave someone the kindness to get me an iPad as my birthday present hehe.

As you might already realized, I am easily pleased....

Kisses.

Happy New Year 2011!

2011-01-10T13:42:00.001+08:00

I hope its not too late for me to wish all of you "Happy New Year 2011!"

Here's to whole lot more fabulosity! :)

Plenty of love,
Yan

Thank you

2010-11-03T12:09:00.002+08:00

What did I do to deserve all this happiness? Thank you.

Dont go away, I'll cherish every good moments. I'll be grateful.

Been busy. But feeling better - because I want to be better.

Love,
Yan

Hola from Jakarta

2010-10-07T22:38:00.001+08:00

Hello all! I'm in Jakarta. Arrived yesterday and will be here until Monday :)

Having lotsa fun. And I know you are reading this Daddy dearest, Yes! I AM SAFE! ;)

Til then,
Love always.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Happy Eid Mubarak

2010-09-21T11:30:00.001+08:00

I hope it's not too late for me to wish all of you, Happy Eid Mubarak. May all you lovely people achieve the happiness of a lifetime during this festive season.

Love always,
Yan

Don't go away

2010-09-06T10:36:00.000+08:00

"So dont go away, say what you say
Say that you'll stay
Forever and a day ... In the time of my life
Cos I need more time, yes I need more time just to make things right"

After late grandma passed away, I kept dreaming about her waking up from the grave, I kept dreaming that she came back alive. The dreams haunted me for months. The similar dreams, over and over again. I started to have the idea that she didn't actually leave, I started to have the idea that she was still around here, waiting for me to make things right between us. I thought that maybe I have been given a second chance to spend more time with her. So I started to live in denial. I started to make believe that she was still around. I didn't cry at all when she passed away, and I kept it that way for few months believing that I didn't need to cry because she was still around. But for what it's worth, I really needed to cry. I needed to grieve. I needed to scream. But in order for me to do that, I needed to start believing that she is no longer around. That she's gone. And when I finally came into it, I cried like a baby. I felt some kind of reliefs. And to date, every day without fail, I will take a few moments to just stare at her picture, whispering to it "It's okay, I let you go. But I can't promise that I will stop crying. I can't promise that I will stop smelling your blouses and blankets".

I miss you so bad, everyday.

--
Yan

Selamat Hari Raya

2010-09-06T10:24:00.000+08:00

It feels like just yesterday you stood there smiling at me. Selamat Hari Raya, late grandma. We miss you terribly.

I miss the excitement of celebrating raya. Will I ever feel it again?

With love,
Yayang
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A place that I look forward to come back everytime I'm out there gaining life experiences

2010-09-01T15:05:00.001+08:00

Happy independence day, Malaysia.

Here is where I'd wish to end my beautiful life for here is where I gained most of the beautiful memories of my life.

I love you, Malaysia
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My only exception

2010-08-14T18:25:00.001+08:00

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What do I need to do to be as beautiful as you?

2010-08-13T16:15:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wonder how much does it cost to be a gorgeous, hot and stylo woman (at all time) like those women I saw at malls. Their hair is nicely blown. Their nails are nicely manicured. Their skin is nicely scrubbed and moisturised. Their faces look just like porcelain.

I have been spending a lot to maintain myself but why haven't I look like them? Here are what I minimally spend for every month (or what can I afford to spend);

1. Hairdo - 2x a week x 4 weeks = RM320.
2. Hair treatment 1x = RM150.
3. Manicure & Pedicure 1x = RM68.
4. Facial 2x = RM400.
5. Cosmetics = RM333 (RM1,000 every 3 months).
6. Facial care = RM400 (RM1,200 every 3 months).

These already total up to RM1,671. I haven't included supplements, toiletries, tampons etc. And don't tell me I no need to change clothes at all? And eat? And drink? :(

Let's be realistic here. How much do they earn lah? :(

Sorry, I'm in emo mood cause I've just spent quite a lot of cash for some stuffs. Later.
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A woman in process

2010-08-10T18:16:00.000+08:00

I'm a woman in process. I'm just trying like everybody else. I try to take every conflict, every experience and learn from it. My life has never been dull. It has always been so exciting.
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Damn, I love my work more than my skin!

2010-08-06T11:18:00.000+08:00

At spa for my (twice a month) ritual facial. Skin condition is getting worst. According to my beautician, no money can do my skin wonders if I don't cut off the late nights, booze and cigarettes. Now - how do I do that?

Late nights are either due to work or due to parties which are (compulsively) needed to de-stress (that is caused by work).

Booze is needed to also de-stress (that is too - caused by work).

Cigarettes are also needed to de-stress (that is also caused by work).

Damn you, work! You, yes you caused all these! But you already knew I still love YOU!

Later :)
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Farewell, adieu my darling

2010-07-23T13:59:00.001+08:00

Life has been uber hectic. I finally got my car last week. And this time it's a him. Will figure out a name for 'him' but for now, let's just refer to him as 'my new baby'. So far so good. Still getting to know 'my new baby' better.

Did I tell you the reason why I got the new car? Hubby got a new job so we'll need 2 cars due to different workplaces and working hours. Today is his last day at this company and last night we threw him a farewell party. It was such a joyous and meaningful farewell I've even thrown or attended. Everybody had fun, gladly.

I'm gonna miss him at work. We all here gonna miss him actually. But this is the best for him. Trust my heart, he will grow so big out there.

Apart from that, work has been hectic. We are expanding our international market aggressively. So the 'slowly but surely' answer I used to give people when they ask about our company's growth during any functions will definitely has to change to 'aggressively but surely'. LOL.

At times, I feel like I wanna scream to everybody that comes near me when the workload is piling up. As much as it is sucking my life out of me, I can't deny how much in love I am with my job. Psychotic. but I do think that company should get another staff to work with me. At least enough for him/her to learn before I leave because I don't have the heart to leave Mr. Boss without a capable person to take over my work (opss, let's reserve that for the next time ;)).

Until then, much love from me!
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I'm grateful

2010-07-09T17:57:00.000+08:00

I'm grateful with what I have. I'm grateful with what I have. I'm grateful with what I have. I'm grateful with what I have. I shouldn't be bothered with some luckier people around me who are pampered with expensive stuffs by their parents or partners. I should be grateful and stop staring at them and their expensive stuffs. Because mine are hard earned by myself. I should be grateful *repeat it for 100x*

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Happy Monday morning!

2010-07-05T13:02:00.000+08:00

Put so much weight on the cheeks. My face now looks like a bloated happy balloon :)
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Quick update: I am still alive, I am still beautiful and I am still happy

2010-07-02T14:10:00.004+08:00

Been busy. Been happy. Been grateful.

Later.

Quality time

2010-07-01T15:38:00.000+08:00

Took MC yesterday in order to spend some quality time with my baby. He's growing up too fast :(
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Home sweet home

2010-07-01T15:36:00.000+08:00

Want to pimp our bedroom but haven't decided on the theme. Soon :)
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Unhappy

2010-06-29T17:01:00.000+08:00

I'm so unhappy today. I have been frowning the whole day. So I snapped this picture at my worst time of the day - trying to capture the moment.

P.S I actually looked worst than this.
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Having a cool dip, a nice tan and a good read

2010-06-29T14:51:00.000+08:00

Moi - by the pool on a lovely Sunday :)
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Our source of happiness

2010-06-24T17:20:00.000+08:00

Isaac giggling on Daddy's lap. He's always so comfortable sticking to Daddy.

Daddy's lil boy! :)
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Fresh mangoes!

2010-06-24T17:15:00.000+08:00

Went to East Coast for holiday and today I came back as a very fresh pretty girl heh! :)
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Phnom Penh Trip

2010-06-14T17:19:00.010+08:00

So I just came back from Cambodia and it was oh-so-awe-some!!

I am sure I will not have time to write about it so I will not promise anything.

But hey, did I tell you that I had my personal tour guide cum packer cum interpreter cum hair stylist there in Phnom Penh?

Hehe....

Here are some pictures with her and some of the locals. Yea - go ahead and zoom in for my pimples, eye bags & wrinkles. I don't care (actually I do - but my PS is not working heh!).

P/s I have no idea what is wrong with the pictures' setting/alignment. Sigh!

Moi enjoying the hot weather next to Mekong River

Taking a break after a tiring shopping session along Street 240 (behind Royal Palace)

With the friendly local girls and my new friend, Nisa (outmost left)

Me with my helpful and beautiful new friend, interpreter, hair stylist, packer, body guard and tour guide :)

At the hotel I was staying, Hotel Cambodiana.

Love love this hair style did by Nisa :)

My daily routine

2010-05-27T14:47:00.007+08:00

Life. In short means - H.E.C.T.I.C.

It has been so hectic. I know I am nobody compared to some people but to me - this is the best phase of my life!

I am thinking, since this is the phase that I like the most - I should put it to writing on what I do every day. Like a journal or something. Maybe I can start writing about the usual daily life. Then from there, I can go for a more detailed one (if I manage to find 10 - 15 minutes from my 24 hours a day to blog - instead of checking out people's pictures ~~and relationship statuses changes~~ on Facebook)

Monday
6.00am - Wake up and shower. Hubby and I get ready for work. Isaac gets ready for school. Isaac has breakfast while watching his morning session of Tom & Jerry while Daddy dozes off (again) next to him at the corner of the couch - his favorite spot, waiting for Mummy who takes hours to get ready.
7.45am - 8.00am - Leave home, send Isaac to school and we head of to work.
9.20am - Arrive office. Have my breakfast in my room - coffee or fresh milk and toast while checking emails.
9.30am - 6.30pm - I will be busy like hell. I often skip lunches.
6.15pm - Hubby will pick Isaac up from day care.
7.00pm - I will try to follow the boys for a quick dinner nearby office. Usually at Nando's or Wendy's or Brussels. If not they will go ahead without me while I am swamped with meetings until late hours.
9.00pm - The boys will either go home first or wait up for me - if I can finish of by 9 ish. Depends on ~~their~~ my mood. Usually, they will go home first because 9.00pm is Isaac's sleeping time.
11.30pm - I will make my way home.
12.00am - Arrive home. Shower. Talk to Hubby about everything that happened during the day and then we will try to sleep.
Note: Read try :D

Tuesday
Pretty much the same from 6.00am to 6.00pm. However, I have 2 schedules for Tuesdays.
Schedule No.1

6.00pm - Leave office to pick Isaac up. Drive home. Stop by at nearby stall to pack Thai food for dinner.
7.30pm - Arrive home. Set-up the dining table and have dinner.
8.00pm - Start watching my Tuesday night series while Isaac takes his shower and Hubby does his own things.
9.00pm - Tuck Isaac into bed. I continue watching TV. Hubby will be occupied with his laptop.
11.00pm - Finish watching my series. Pass TV remote to Hubby. We chat while Hubby watches documentaries.
12.00am - Try to go to sleep.
Note: Read try :D

Schedule No. 2

6.00pm - Hubby will leave office and pick Isaac up and they will go for dinner and then home.
6.30pm - I will finish work and then head of for some drinks and music with girlfriends. Go home time - depends on how much fun can I get that night.

I will continue writing on Wednesday - Sunday when I have time. After all after Tuesday, the calendar itself says W.T.F.

Note: We work at the same company, same building. We sometimes drive two cars to work, and sometimes one car only.

Hopeless romantic

2010-05-26T12:12:00.004+08:00

I am a hopeless romantic woman that ~~sometimes~~ most of the time, it hurts me upside down. I love surprises. I love gifts. I love roses. I love dates. I love holidays. I love cuddles. I love kisses. I love PDA. I love everything romantic. Knowing that these kind of things make me happy - I do this to everyone who are close to me. I plan their birthday surprises, graduation dinners, baby showers etc. I get them gifts. I even get them roses on their birthdays - because I am worried they will not receive any bouquets on their special days and that will ruin their whole day (that's what gonna happen to me when I don't receive bouquets on my special days).

In relationship - I tend to be very sensitive and very emotionally driven. I get upset over many things. It might be petty for you - but don't you think your partner should put more effort to get you roses on your special days? Don't you think it's necessary for your partner to plan for a nice birthday dinner for you - with friends, knowing that, that will make you happy - not a simple lunch at a place you usually go every fourth night? So yes - I get upset when I don't receive roses on my birthday, Mother's Day and wedding anniversary. I get upset when I don't receive any celebration on my birthday. I get upset.

I like to cuddle. I like to be pampered. I like to be attached to each other. I like to be kissed. I like romance.

So yes - I am a very romantic person. And I am happy being one (although that too can make me unhappy).

Disappointed

2010-05-19T15:45:00.004+08:00

I am very disappointed with you.

You - of all people should know what type of person I am. I will never do that to strangers let alone you. The last thing I'd expect is for you to doubt me - after what I have been through with you.

I never asked for your blind trust. I just asked you to learn how to trust.

I am gonna keep a distance from now on. Thank you.

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-14T11:46:00.002+08:00

So Isaac came back with coupla of handmade cards for Mother's Day. They are so sweet, I shed some tears.

One of them is a sweet looking pink colored card that has a picture of me in a colorful dress and a bouquet of flowers in my right hand - creatively drawn by him on the first page. As you turn to the second page, there is a list of things that remind him of me - nicely handwritten by him. And here are the things that remind him of his mummy:

1. Chanel handbag
2. Pink color
3. Dresses
4. Fried rice
5. Cooper S

HA HA HA HA. What have I done to my son? LOL

I hope it's not too late for me to wish Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful mothers out there. Aren't we lucky to be one? :)

Indah

2010-04-29T15:58:00.007+08:00

Lazy. Lazy to update the blog lately. But life has been really indah, as of late.

So, nah a picture of the bed side of our bedroom taken using my precious Bold 2.

P.s Ignore the laundry basket. I just changed the bedsheet when this pic was taken, the one in the basket is my fave silk red sheet. Love it too much, been using it for 2 weeks before changed it to this light pink sheet hehe :)

And oh, we managed to hike Broga Hill. It was spectacular. Will try to write about it when I managed to remember to bring the big ass camera to office for me to upload the beautiful pictures. For now, here is one taken using my BB :)

Write more later.

Life as of late

2010-04-22T10:13:00.006+08:00

Had dinner with Sharm and Tava last night at WIP. It was good to catch up with girlfriends. Had two glasses of Chardonnay, again :)

Today is Earth Day Open Day at Isaac's school and they have a lot of cool stalls selling plants, vegetables, fruits, magazines, newspaper, decorations and some other misc items. It felt great to be there. I was amused by the cute kids. They are just too cute. Isaac's stall sells food, he made us buy cheese + salad bun, muesli, jelly, cup cake & cookies. Such a pushy tauke lol. It's actually very good to expose them to what the outside life would be - it felt surreal there. The selling and buying, the calling 'Come buy buy, fresh vege for good price', the money collection. The kids are just very lucky. It was a good experience for them, and for our boy :)

And lately, I learnt something new about pain. I learnt that in order to get through the pain, you need to face it. You need to let yourself be in it. You need to embrace it. And believe me, the pain wouldn't be as painful as it is when you keep trying to avoid it. Later.

It's going to be May soon

2010-04-19T14:40:00.002+08:00

Been really busy and demotivated lately. Hence no updates.

Work - Has been very stressful. Suddenly I feel like there are too many rooms to improve. It seems like I have been really bad at work. For a moment, I felt really stupid. I hate when I need to rush to do things without passion. It feels terrible.

Isaac - He was down with fever on Saturday and Sunday. He was alright on Saturday morning. We went to One Utama to get him track pants because we planned to hike Broga Hill on Sunday morning to watch sunrise. He has been waiting for it excitedly. All of us did, actually. While shopping, he started to shiver and his temperature went up, very high. Hubby and I were very worried and straight away left for home. Luckily, his temperature went down after some doses of medications. But we cancelled the plan to hike Broga Hill as he needed to rest

He was also shortlisted for some TVC castings. It went well but we are yet to receive any good news whether he is selected or not. However it'll be, we are very proud of him.

Home - We revamped our bedroom. Was itchy to change the drawers and cabinets. Pretty happy with the outcome. Want to do more but no more money to spend haha.

Write more soon. Need to do some report on cash flow. Later.

Write off

2010-04-13T15:39:00.001+08:00

Thank you.

Thank you for letting me know that I am a pain in the ass. Thank you for letting me know that my head needs an intensive treatment.

Thank you for writing me off.

Not pregnant

2010-04-08T10:27:00.003+08:00

So, it turned out that I am not pregnant (yet) hehe.

Period came on 6th. Today is the 3rd day and I am feeling high as pretty as a pink bird.

Had great time last night dining with bestie. Had two glasses of Chardonnay. That was the climax of the week :)

Later xx

Good job!

2010-04-06T12:05:00.003+08:00

Isaac keeps saying "Mummy is so clever" nowadays and everything mummy does will receive a firm "Good job, Mummy!". And he has turned into this sweetheart who hugs and kisses all the time, anywhere, without any specific reason. He will just come to hug us and kiss us whenever he feels like it. Can't be more grateful than I am now.

I am pregnant

2010-04-05T14:59:00.006+08:00

I have a confession.

No, not really a confession. I have a new peculiar obsession. I am so obsessed that I might be pregnant. Every month (since end of last year), between the 1st day of every month until 5th - 6th day, I will grumble and scold my husband for making me pregnant. I will go to toilet every half an hour to check if my period is here yet.

The truth is, for the past few months, I havent got pregnant. I was just traumatising myself that I might be pregnant. And if I did, where will we deliver the baby? How much will it cost to give birth to babies nowadays? And if we can't afford to deliver the baby at hospital, is it safe to give birth naturally at home? But we dont have a bath tub, so how? If we call a midwife, is it safe? And then, what can we feed the baby that is economical and healthy? What can we do to earn more so that it is enough for the family to eat? And I am very sure that we will have sleepless nights, so how will we focus at work if we didnt get enough sleep? And what will happen to my department? Do I need to resign or will my boss demote me to become a clerk? And then comes the mild depression. I haven't started on how will I face the world with the baby weights yet. And Isaac, will he be able to cope with the new baby? Will he eat the new baby?

And today is 5th of April and my period is not here yet. Actually it usually comes on the 6th or 7th of every month and the first 5 - 6 days will be spent grumbling, self-traumatising & scolding hubby for making me pregnant (or at least to make me feel that I am pregnant).

Sigh. I am traumatised. I hate this week of the month.

Heart o' heart

2010-04-01T14:32:00.003+08:00

Heart is beating fast. I feel uneasy for don't know what reason. I hate it when this happens.

Hopefully nothing bad is gonna happen.

Crossing fingers.

People

2010-03-26T16:12:00.002+08:00

Hello, sweets!

First of all, what do you think of my new header? It's actually a 18SX candid picture taken by hubby many months ago lol. I thought it was sweet so I saved it in my hard disc and when I was doing spring cleaning few days ago, I found it, edited (cropped the not-supposed-to-be-seen-part + adjusted the brightness, contras & saturation) and tadaa, a sweet looking header for this blog. I am so clever ;)

Anyway, I have been experiencing different type of people everyday throughout my journey working for a local ambitious company which caters mostly for Malays.

And out of all kinds of people that exist in this universe, three kinds of them interest me most.

The first kind - When confronted with a situation, can determine what needs to be done, comes up with a way of doing it, and gets it done.

The second kind - In the same situation, is shown what needs to be done, can intelligently follow instructions, and gets it done.

The third kind- When confronted with a situation is shown what needs to be done and also how it can be done, only then they can do the job

Which kind of person are you? Are you the 'take-charge' person who can, when faced with a situation, decide what needs to be done, find a way to do it, and get the job done?

Leaders are made, not born. Some of us are trained in our own different ways to manage a situation and find ways to make it work. Many just cant find a way, they have to be shown how to do it. That explains why leaders are special people, and highly paid for their skills.

Every one of us is different. And every leadership situation is different. Every task is different as well, what works for one person ina situation, might not work for the others. However, certain principle employed by the great leaders in history can help us to become more effective leaders. While we go onwith the building of our career, we mustn't forget that one of the important ingredients is to know the people we are dealing with.

Despite

2010-03-18T12:55:00.002+08:00

I wrote this post on Tuesday March 16, but didn't manage to publish it due to internet connection failure.

Today, I have been running up and down to get things done. Boss is flying to Dhaka tonight. So we are literally rushing for as many things as possible to be settled.

I just received message from my sister that my 2nd paternal grandmother has passed away (my biological dad's aunt who was like a mum to him and a grandma to us). I was never close to this family but as a human, I am tearing inside.

I do not know what to do. Should I tell my boss that 'despite his flight to Dhaka in few hours and all these pending things for me to do', can I leave office now so that I can think straight whether or not I should fly to Kelantan for the funeral?

I need to go now. Boss is calling.

Edited on March 18, 2010: I decided not to fly down. Because I am needed at work and because I am going to Kelantan for a presentation next week so I will just pay them a visit while I am there.

Today will be a better day

2010-03-18T12:32:00.002+08:00

Here are what I have in mind for today;

1. Hanging on to it.

2. Chanting "Today will be a better day" for 100x

3. And oh, today I woke up and I chose to be happy (again) because it worked yesterday.

4. Til then, keep loving me. And don't give up on me.

My lil Isaac

2010-03-17T12:57:00.000+08:00

Have been trying to write, to update on Isaac for coupla times but I guess a long post will never happen anytime soon so here a quick update.

Time flies.

Isaac can now read and count. And did I tell you he speaks Mandarin too now? A lil, but enough to impress Mummy & Daddy whom can barely survive around Chinese educated people lol

He dances. He sings. He plays piano. He starts to swim. He asks questions.

He is a big boy :)

I love you, baby.

Choose to be happy

2010-03-12T17:10:00.002+08:00

Every morning I have a choice and that is choosing to be happy.

Hello!

:)

Happy new year!

2010-01-02T12:41:00.004+08:00

Happy new year!

I have so many things to say. But I am not in the right state to write. So I will just wait until I get my mo-jo back. Til then, I hope you are having a great new year celebration. Let's hope that 2010 will bring us better health, more happiness, more love, more money, more sex, more power and control! I am so looking forward for what 2010 will bring me.

Anyway, been watching a lot of Batman lately so I am gonna end this post with my favourite line from The Dark Knight.

"If you are good at something, never do it for free~The Joker"

:)

Notice

2009-12-21T10:31:00.005+08:00

This morning, I noticed few things:

Few people that I know who were so in love are no longer with the partners. They broke off.
I haven't listed down my new year resolutions. I know what I want but have not listed them down.
I've put on weight. I keep repeating this. I know.
I haven't received any Christmas presents yet, this year.
That two is better than one.

Reminder to myself to be grateful

2009-12-10T11:12:00.009+08:00

Being a mummy, wife, lover, daughter, daughter in law, sister, friend, personal assistant to a president, executive, market coordinator and as a normal human being. Often I have been asked "Just how do you do all this and succeed in it?" Frankly, I haven't the faintest idea how do I do all this. And if people don't highlight to me that I am good at it, I wouldn't know that I am.

As a mummy, I tend to ask myself if I am good at it. I often tell myself that I suck at playing the mummy role but then again, who on earth can be perfect? I tell myself, at least I am much better than some who don't even care to show their love to their children. It has been said before that love is something that you cannot see but a substance you hope for. That, keeps me going to try harder every single day to show my love and to give the best for my son and my future children. No doubt I have been busy with work but we must know how to strike a balance if we have children. They should have my best but I still give time to my job - it's a win-win situation.

Same goes to my role as a wife and lover to my dear hubby. I am blessed to have him who understands how tired I am when we get home at night to even cook dinner or to even do laundry. Evidently, not many men would want to do all the housework when they have wives (who often being treated as high end slaves) to do the work (~~and to spread legs & to breed~~) but logically, they just have to. Because, I believe that having to compromise in things like this, makes the whole marriage episodes to be more meaningful. And as for my hubby, he makes everything easier for me. And that is how I managed to survive my everyday as a wife and lover.

As a daughter. I keep failing and keep trying.

But as a granddaughter, I succeeded. And I am proud of it. I can proudly tell people how sweet I was as a granddaughter. I know, that I have fulfilled her wishes. To be a good person. To be able to differentiate between good and bad. Between sweet and sour. Between the real and the fake ones.

As a daughter in law, I am still trying to adapt :)

As a sister, I think I am great!

As a friend, I am still in the process of learning the friends' behavior. This can take forever but I know it's worth it. I try my very best to be a good friend. And I know for sure that I have been a good friend to many. I have been there for them when they needed me. And one day, when it is my turn, I hope that they will be there for me.

Being an all rounder at work is something that I'd love to do. I treat it as a great privilege to learn more things than a normal staff does. Although it seems a great idea to be the president's assistant, and many people think that it is an easy task, I really don't think so. For I have spent countless hours in getting things done. Running here and there to compile everything together. Sometimes, I spent hours in my room, locked in deep thought and occasionally looking out in the blue pond downstairs in order to get more inspiration to complete my work. At times, I spend whole night thinking of what have I not done yet. Whether or not, I can still do it the first thing in the morning without causing any delay to the work. In my job scope, I write a lot. Emails are like my daily dosage. One thing that I am so grateful with my current job is the fact that I have my own room where my writings can be done in a quiet and well equipped room with a proper table, comfy chair and at my own convenience compared to my previous job where I used to sit all day to complete my work profusely in a cubicle with everyone else doing their things. Engrossed in my own world of being a good employee, the noise and disruption was unknown to me.

" I have seen many doing the same thing. I think it's pretty easy. Is it really difficult to do all this??" someone asked.

"No, not if you are willing to invest 20 (and sometimes 24) hours of your daily hours just to be running, rushing, thinking & skipping your meals. No if you are willing to cancel your wedding anniversary dinner just because you've been called back to work. No if you are willing to still finish your work on a Sunday morning at 4.00 am when you receive a call from home that your son is having high fever and wanting you to hug him," I quipped.

And don't think that I am complaining. I love what I do. And this is just a reminder to myself that I should be grateful with what I have.

So what do you think? Should I be given an award or something?

Another year older

2009-12-09T15:23:00.002+08:00

There are 61 days till my next birthday on which I will be celebrating with one of my most favourite girlfriends, Sharmila. We are planning for a big classy private party.

I am so excited about it. No invitation has been extended yet, so please stop screaming that you are not invited okay.

The truth is, I am freaking out. What have I achieved so far? Oh well.

And just in case you guys are wondering what to get for me, I could do some hugs and kisses on my birthday. It's on February 8.

Apart from that, a Blackberry Bold and a pendant of my birthstone (Amethyst which I believe can increase my spirit) would be great. Thanks.

How to be a charmer like me

2009-11-23T12:41:00.004+08:00

"You are so positive. So positive, it makes cynical people like me annoyed"

I get that a lot. When I talk positively to people, they wonder why am I so positive. And I wonder why does it bother them.

"How did you do that? You charmed him the minute you started talking to him!"

This. I get a lot too. Apparently, I am a charmer. I have been told that I have a good personality which is an optimum key to getting things done. At work. Not on bed.

I am not going to leave you half way, but will share with you ways to get a better personality through attitude and self-image, which is my ultimate way of life.

Here are ways, proven ways, techniques or steps that you can almost put to immediate use, to help you to become ~~(a charmer)~~ a better person.

Step One: Participate Positively
First we need to understand that attitude has its own infections way of influencing others to act in accordance with your way of thinking. In our pursuit of upgrading our attitude to a healthier one, we must participate positively in all the company's functions & activities, which include small and big events. There are many people who feel that they are not involved in certain events or activities, so they tend to take a step backward and watch from the back stage. Worse, there are people who think that only big functions can bring them to somewhere on the top.

One important area of attitudinal development is to be more involved in all functions, because when your superiors, your coordinates or your staffs witness your enthusiasm in participating positively in all functions, they will learn, they will follow and most of all they will lead others as well.

Step Two: Take The Front Seat
There is a big difference between a winner and a loser. The winner takes the front seat, while the loser ends up taking the back row, more often, more of them end up having no seat at all. Try to take the front seat at your company's functions. Try to be a good supporter to your team leader.

Step Three: Put On A Broad Smile
Like the saying goes; You smile because you are happy. Show others you are really happy when you meet them. Look around the next time you go to any event or function, you will notice many others who wear a frown on their faces. Frowning makes other feel unwanted, unwelcome and most of all frowning makes you dull. So, put on a broad smile every minute of you waking hour. People might think that you are flirting, screw them.

Step Four: Dress Up, Make Up and Move Up
There is a magic in dressing up. All over the world, men and women spend so much effort and money in dressing themselves up, so that they look good and feel great. I do that too. When you have this great feeling, you automatically act enthusiastically in almost everything that comes your way. Hence I urge you to dress up, make up and you will move up.

Step Five: Whisper I love You
One of the greatest lessons I have privilege in learning through my working experiences and bad decisions is working with my current company. One of the lessons, is to whisper I love You to whoever comes our way. "It is hard not to think well of a person when you whispered I love you, in your heart when you meet him or her." Your self-image will affectionately influence your attitude to act accordingly.

Step Six: Be Well Equipped
From the beginning, I have been told that there are three things we need to know about corporate world. First you need to know how to sell, then you must know how to receive then you must train others to sell and receive. Be well equipped with your knowledge, so that you are well prepared when people give you objections. Sell means a lot of things. That includes, to sell yourself well. Let people know your value. Be well equipped with the art to sell effectively. When you can sell well, when you approach people effectively, then you will enjoy working. Which will give you more reasons to wake up early in the morning to go to work. Because you know, that it will be a good day for you. Learn how to receive too. Because you know, you are worth it.

The above six steps will be your starting points ~~(to be a charmer, like me)~~ in attitudinal development and ensuring a stronger self-image. However, I must warn you that in your effort in your new growth, you need to discipline yourself to stay away from the negative people, and talk (ONLY) about positive things in life. Believe me, stay away from negative people. They are bad. Really bad.

I miss you, grandma.

2009-11-20T14:55:00.003+08:00

Grandma,

When I was growing up, I wanted to to inspire people. I wanted to put a million smiles in people's hearts. I wanted to help people to remember the important things in life - love, connection and gratitude.

Now that I have grown up, I wonder whether or not I have done any of these. I wonder if I can still do it. I wonder if the world is still as beautiful as I saw it. I wonder if humans are still expecting to smile as I expected.

Most importantly, I wonder if I have ever made you proud.

I miss you, grandma.

Love,
Yayang
November 20, 2009 (a year after you went away)

Never give up

2009-11-10T11:04:00.003+08:00

I receive a lot of forwarded emails everyday but this particular one got my whole attention this morning. Thought I'd share the smile with you here :

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'
'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'

See girls?

We can give up many things - but never, under any circumstances, relinquish our birthrights for drink, hair appointments and shopping.

:)

Happy 5th birthday, my son!

2009-11-05T16:54:00.004+08:00

Dear my precious son,

Today is your birthday. You are 5 years old and obviously you are a big boy now. Oh dear, sometimes I can't accept the fact that you are growing so fast. Who will listen to me talking rubbish when you have grown old enough to understand that what I share with you is nothing but rubbish?

It's been a while since I last wrote you a letter. I guess work has been occupying me. And I do realise that I spend less time with you for these past months. I often leave you with Daddy. I am so sorry. I really am. I thought that I needed to do all this so that you can have your favourite food, nice branded outfits and a fancy birthday party. Although, I still think that it is true.

Dear Isaac,

Today, I actually do not know what to write but I must write something. So that when you are able to read all these letters that I write to you, you will smile and come to me to give me a warm hug and nice kiss. I like it when you do that.

Like last night after I finished reading you bedtime story and you hugged me so tight and kissed me on my lips. I'd trade everything in to have that moment every night before sleep.

There are a lot of things that I learnt from onyang (your late great grandmother) when I was growing up which I want to pass on to you. And those are the things that keep me going and giving me strength to raise you up to become a good person. Like how I became (at least I do feel that I am a good person, by heart no matter what people might think about what type of person I have grew up to become).

Dear Isaac,

I want so many things for you. Everyday, I pray to God that He will make things easier for you in your life.

I want you to live with hospitality so that you will learn how to fight. To fight for yourself. To fight for the people that you care. And to fight for the people that are around you.

I want you to live with tolerance so that you will learn to be more patient. At least, to be more patient than me. Patience is very important my son. It makes you appreciate things that you've achieved after the effort you made.

I want you to live with encouragement. So that you will become confident. These past weeks, you keep telling people who tell you not to talk too much that the reason you talk a lot is because you want to become a lawyer. Like my Mummy, you said. And when people tell you that lawyers can not make a lot of money, you will encounter them back "then how come my mummy has so much money?". How adorable. See, that's what I meant by confident. You are always so confident even when others are not. But, remember my son. You can be confident but never over confident. That will kill our confidence and leave us with nothing.

I want you to live with praise so that you will learn to appreciate. Believe me, my son, this is very important.

I want you to live with approval so that you will learn to like yourself.

I want you to live with acceptance so that you will learn to find love in this world. Oh by the way, I just learnt last night that love isn't a feeling. Love is an ability and Auntie Bwooie says that love is also a choice. That, you will learn in couple more years.

Dear Isaac,

Mummy wants you to live with sharing so that you will learn to be generous.

I want you to live with honesty and fairness so that you will learn what truth and justice are. After all, lawyer is what you want to become, right?

I want you to live with security so that you will learn to have faith in yourself and in those around you. And to answer your question this morning, no there is no ghost my darling. Really.

I want you to live in friendliness so that you will learn that world is a nice place to live.

I want you live with serenity so that you will learn to have peace of mind.

These are what I want for you. Now tell me what do you want apart from the expensive kiddo laptop?

Love,
Mummy.

Make it last

2009-10-28T11:06:00.010+08:00

When he first set foot with this Company, years ago, he was but a mere youth with huge dreams and plans. He began setting things into motion; building his career. His job scope, amongst others, was to implement The Company’s computer system – a feat he was immensely proud of, for it meant the world to him. A legacy of sorts – moulded from blood, sweat and tears. This became his life. A constant sacrifice, of which he surmised, was warranted for anyone who craved success.

I recall vividly through hazy days caused by sleepless nights, how he toiled so that this very ‘gem’ he built, would ensure The Company’s means of revenue is guaranteed. He became Mr. ‘Fixit’ – the go-to Man when problems arose. He went about in this pattern and not once took credit for such dedication. He did not need to he thought. This was his given duty, his vocation. Little did he realise that this, this selfless act would be his undoing.

He watched as colleagues took credit that belonged to him. Ah well, he said, It does not matter in the long run.

He allowed people to take advantages of him; they began to take him for granted.

Like a cat pushed to a corner, his mind began to race.

Was youth a factor? Or the fact he had neither voice nor conviction? Or perhaps, in the corporate jungle where promotions are forged via maligning others is the norm, he has not quite acquired such ruthless acumen?

As the clock ticked, seconds, minutes into hours and days, it dawned upon him that perhaps, it was now time to employ a different strategy. His superiors have to be made aware of his contributions, that this was his brainchild.

He discovered his self-value. His sense of worth.

Since the 60s, the discovery of self value represents a breakthrough in the fields of psychology and creative personality. 'Self image’ is the key to human personality and behavior. In a nutshell, you change the self image and you transform personalities and behavior.

To me, self image actually determines the level of accomplishments of an individual. A person with a strong self image but without tertiary qualifications will have a better chance of making it in life than those with paper qualifications but who suffer from a poor self image. Self image defines what you can and cannot do. When you enlarge your self image, you enlarge the 'area of possibilities' in a person.

So that's what he did; but ran into a wall, a major glitch. His superiors were still oblivious.

He asked himself, "What was it that I missed this time?"

Some people said, "You must believe in yourself first!”

Of course he believes in himself (duh!). He knew for a fact that the starting point for both success and happiness is to obtain a strong self-image (again it is a self image issue). Learn to accept yourself before you can really like others, or before you can accept the fact that you deserve success and happiness.

If that wasn't the concern, what was?

And then... he found out through the grapevine, that what was standing between his successes was paper qualification.

Eeeppp...

So do you think, once he acquires the necessary papers, he will be given a chance to forge ahead? Tell me. After all the hard work, image transformation and finally the (I hope) paper qualification, will he be given the chance? For real?

Subjective isn't it? Oh well.

This guy, he doesn’t believe in giving up. It is not part of his genetic make-up. So now he opts for trust. He chooses to trust them.

In the mean time, he is hot on the paper-chase trail.

Trust is beautiful. I myself believe that time fortifies trust. Well, 5 years is long enough (no?). When someone trusts you, you learn about honesty. When you entrust someone, you are in fact teaching him or her to be honest. Inculcate others to develop honesty by trusting them a little more each day. I truly wonder if the bosses are aware of this. Are they aware that they can gain more than hard work (or money) from their employees by trusting them? I hope they do.

They better do, I tell you.

How about encouragement? Is it too difficult to give a little encouragement to your people? A leader who gives encouragement to his or her people is actually teaching them to have confidence in themselves.

Hey, he does that! I know he does. He encourages his team mates, every single day, in his own unique way.

Everyone has their own way of getting things accomplished, right?

BUT, but this is the reason why the bosses think he is not a leader, because there is no staff development under him. Oh oh, did I tell you that the bosses have hired a new fresh guy to SUPERVISE him? Sorry, my bad. Totally forgot to mention this.

So yes, since there was no staff development under his direct supervision, they (whom he prefers to refer to as ‘team mates’) have been instructed to report to this new honcho, including HIM.

Hilarious, right? So now he is back to square one.

Further elaboration at this point would be an exercise in futility.

One of the bosses said, he needs to compromise. Haha, yeap. Compromise. Compromise your dignity. Compromise your respect. Compromise your life. After all, it is just a diagram.

Moving on.

His way of motivating his team mates was perceived as a weakness; therefore, he is not leader material.

Hmmm. I am a little confused here; I learnt that a good leader is one who motivates his or her people. An iron fist is never necessary when there are so many other morality-building techniques out there utilising patience and kindness.

But why does this make him a bad leader? The killer-instinct so admired by many?

Would it be fair if I say that he did his part to get them to develop their work skills? Yes indeed, albeit instilling the brand of discipline warranted by the bosses. (As if the other HODs managed to accomplish this. Duh!).

There are moments when I am not sure if he deserves to be treated like this. But he trusts the bosses. He trusts that if he manages to fix his shortcomings, his day in the sun will arrive.

Tell me if I am wrong, but I think he shouldn't be treated like this.

I think he should find his way out of this madness, and before he does that, he should go to these bosses, and ask them straight to their faces if their parents ever taught them the fine art of awarding merit when it’s deserved.

Mine did. His too. That's it.

Define success. Define failure.

By,

Yan Lim

October 28, 2009

Hard-work

2009-10-16T16:58:00.003+08:00

"The world stands aside for those who know where they are going""

Yes, the world will certainly stand aside if you know where you are going and certainly pave the way for you if you know the path you are traveling, is the right one. Every leader knows there is one way to get to the top and that is to climb every step of the way, no short cuts or handouts, just sheer hard-work and perseverance.

I hate you ass kisser. I hope you will fall down from top there. And the reason you'll fall down is because you can't afford to carry all the credits that you stole from my hard-work. They are too heavy for you.

Toodles.

Rindu

2009-10-16T16:52:00.000+08:00

Sangat rindu. Boleh kita berjumpa sekejap? Hanya ingin melihat kamu dari dekat.

Holla!

2009-10-08T13:09:00.002+08:00

I am very sorry for all the negative energy that I involuntarily shared with all of you (through twitter, facebook, via phone or even face to face). The truth is, I am surrounded by too many people with negative aura which explains the mood swings and negative thoughts lately. My apology. Will get rid of them and will gain the positive energy as soon as I can. Toodles. xx

Threaten

2009-09-15T20:01:00.001+08:00

Hubby told me that Issac knows how to threaten him already nowadays.

Hubby: *scolding him on something*
Isaac: If you treat me like this, I will tell Mummy not to marry you, okay Daddy?

Haha. Cuteness.

Influence

2009-09-02T12:51:00.002+08:00

Influencing others is a skill, an art one ought to learn. While it is good to influence others, it must be done with utmost integrity. When you acquire this skill, you need to remember that influencing others in order to help them is the main objective. I call that positive influence.

Many go out there to influence others for their own benefits, then it becomes a win-lose situation-somebody is going to be very annoyed with someone later. Think of the consequences before you begin to put this skill to use. To me, I call that negative influence.

How can one apply positive influence? By helping others to gain something , without destroying part of themselves. I believe we are all special, I believe we can make it. If we understand our limitations, then we can work more effectively. I believe limitations will always be with us, we only need to learn to avoid getting trapped within these limitations.

Once we understand our limitations, we would have found our strength and with our strength we can move forward. I always say, when we go to the battle field, the first thing we should know is where our enemies are stationed, and once we know that, we are a step closer to winning the battle. Hence, know your own limitations, and you are in fact closer to accomplishing your dreams. You can, provided you believe you can.

Pardon me, for all this nagging. I have been listening to too much motivational talks by my boss lately.

Take charge!

2009-08-28T16:27:00.002+08:00

When someone tells you to take control, it simply means take charge! Take charge of your life from today onwards, because life is full of surprises, some pleasant, some not so pleasant and there are a few that are quite terrible so the only way to avoid getting caught by those surprises is to control one's life better. Take charge, make sure everyday is a brand new tomorrow. One can go around thinking life is always very tough, and as a result, the toughness actually wears you out. No, life is not like that, in fact, life is full with great moments, and happiness. If only we would take better charge of ourselves, life would be more meaningful.

Toodles.

Superciliousness

2009-08-21T12:20:00.003+08:00

Would you like to have what you want or to keep what you have?

Whatever it is, humans are filled with superciliousness. We feel that we want more but at the same time, we can't afford of losing what we already have. Why? Because we are afraid of the people around us. Afraid that they will talk about us. Afraid that the people will judge us. That's arrogance, okay. We are too arrogant to fall. We are too arrogant to let people to correct us. We are to arrogant to allow people to see us fail.

So what happened to the part 'we want more'? Well, we do not want to take the risk as the fear of losing what we have bugs us, correct? But what if we can have more and at the same time, we can keep what we have? Of course, need good strategy not just poking everywhere lah!

No? Not willing to take the risk still? Okay then.

Easy, just kep quiet and enjoy what we have. Stop aiming for more or better things. We are scared, right? Moreover, it is not our fault. It's the people around us who make us feel low confident. Remember, it's not our fault! It's the people. Afterall, do not worry, they will pay for our bills and I am sure they will always be there for us. Forever.

Until then, have a safe fun life.

Turn a spark to a flame

2009-08-21T11:43:00.001+08:00

I couldn't feel much better
Than when
I'm here with you
You make everything
Seem so easy
I'm telling you the truth
You never try
To please me
But somehow
You always do
The simple things
You do to me
Simple things you say
I sometimes can't believe
It's for real

Bleeding

2009-08-20T12:49:00.000+08:00

Can you see it bleeding? No? I should have guessed.

Holla!

2009-08-16T15:40:00.003+08:00

It's been a while since I last blogged. Life has been pretty hectic yet beautiful. Too many things happened in our life. Some are good and some are not.

As for me, I like what's happening to me now and I hope it will last :)

Just came back from a week holiday at Kapas Island. And I'm back with 2 layers tan. Seriously, I look like a coal.

Apart from that, work has been uber busy. I can hardly have my own time in front of TV for the past few weeks. Study has been so-so. I have exams tomorrow night, but I haven't flipped thru a thing. Stuck at event today *yawns*. Hope it will be as easy as the last paper hehe.

Alright sweets, will write more when I have longer time. Love!

Orbital

2009-08-06T16:27:00.002+08:00

Today is my day. When is yours?

2009-08-06T11:29:00.006+08:00

I am purchasing this;

And this;

Click on pictures for the items' names

And no, I haven't spoken to hubby yet. Cause I assume if I wanna buy a LV then only I need to speak to him since these two only cost me USD536.

Honey, can ah? I tried calling you and left messages on MSN too *errkkkk*

Love you!

Have a safe fun life!

2009-08-05T10:45:00.003+08:00

I have so many things that I wanna write but I just can't seem to focus in writing these days. Not that I have literally stopped writing because I still do. Emails, the fucking long emails *yawns*.

Work has been pretty hard to catch up. Just came back from Penang for a work trip. Then this weekend, will be going to Kuala Terengganu for another event. Then we will be off for a week holiday, hubby has booked a room at Kapas Island for us. Hope that few days will help me to unwind my mind.

The next weekend will be spent listening to my boss motivating people again. Hmm *struggling to open my eyes*. And, I assume mum is back from Germany. Didn't even call her. What else? My life is my career. For now, let me do this. For once, I am so determined in what I do. And I am not going to stop half way like I always did.

Oh yes, it's raining this morning. I love this lazy weather. Feels like London. Til then, have a safe fun life!

You were and are one of my favourite people in this world and your demise hurts me as much as it does to him

2009-07-29T14:18:00.007+08:00

I am still moaning and grieving over the demise of one of my favorite people in this world, Yasmin Ahmad.

Whatever she liked, I like. Sensei, I will miss you dearly.

In the loving memory of my Yasmin Ahmad, here is one of her favorite poems;

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

Blame it on my mouth II

2009-07-22T12:44:00.004+08:00

Hello. The other day, I was complaining that you are too soft. That you let people bully you. That you didn't fight for yourself. Of course, I was picking up a fight over you. You said, "not that I didn't defend myself. I did. But you didn't see it. You just don't like my way and you want it to be your way".

You were so angry that I use pressure over you. You said you don't understand how can I always feel more motivated to be better everytime I got pressured.

Hmm, I don't know the answer although I know that I don't like pressure neither. But I won't let others step on my head. No freaking way.

You also questioned on why did I even feel so aggravated when you were the one whom being bullied.

My darling, I just hate it. I hate to see you being treated that way. It hurts me more than you. I think, I explained that to you already. If you got what I meant, that is. But you were still very much unhappy. So I guess I didn't use the right words. Or maybe I picked a fight at a totally wrong time. Not that picking up a fight is right, at the first place.

So I promised you that you won't need to hear from me anymore. I meant, on this issue.

But nevermind, since I am thinking about you now, here you go; a few words from me :)

Do you know that you are such a talented man and I am not sure if you even realised that. Do you remember all the arguments that we had when we were dating? Do you know that everytime I saw you, I had so many things that I wanted to talk about. That I wanted to share. That I wanted to argue with you. I will use the opportunity to bring something up, anything, just so I could get into how your mind works, how you placed your words and uttered it carefully, on how you got me to think and pondered about anything. Hmm the magic. You were so thrilling! It's interesting on how much I enjoyed arguing with you. Just so you know.

My darling, nowadays you tend to lose your patience. You treat our arguments as something that you need to win. I miss to argue like those days. When we used to stand on our own words and yet we turned it to something delightful.

I love you.

Blame it on my mouth

2009-07-22T12:32:00.003+08:00

I aimed to write a proper entry today but the usual laziness doesn't seem to run off. Or maybe the blues which occasionally comes to visit. Or is it, because of the way he treated me for the past weeks?

Til then, have a good life.

Rest in peace, MJ.

2009-07-22T12:03:00.002+08:00

Liverpool vs Singapore Match tickets

2009-07-18T11:05:00.000+08:00

I am looking for Liverpool vs Singapore Match tickets. Please let me know if you guys happened to have extra tix please. Or any contacts. Pretty please.

Hiatus

2009-07-13T17:31:00.001+08:00

Have not been updating here. Currently updating on Twitter. Although I practically chatting haha.

Follow me there if you miss me, I know you do :D

Mist, Bangsar

2009-07-06T11:11:00.004+08:00

So I finally went to Mist, Bangsar. No mood to write. But one word. Or two. Fucking awesome. Three words. Fucking awesome night!

Sorry for the harsh words. My vocabulary is not functioning. Tried to use the right adjectives but failed. Toodles!

No I am not happy with the color. Will surely re-dye after coupla months!

2009-06-30T12:23:00.007+08:00

So I colored the hair. Red. No, didn't perm it, it was just a temporary perm. Mengada-ness!

And please excuse the meaty arms and the failed pout. Toodles!

Better

2009-06-25T10:36:00.006+08:00

This picture was self taken at 4 in the morning; preparing for our big event together in 2006

I feel so in love today. Honey sent me few love songs. Just like the good old days when he used to email me romantic love songs and then printed out the lyrics on beautiful papers. Just to make me feel better.

So what I am trying to say is, everything that he makes, makes it better. And no matter what the days, with him here, it's better. Period.

Poladroid

2009-06-24T10:59:00.005+08:00

A friend of mine introduced me to http://poladroid.net where you can download the software and start editing your pictures to poladroid format. Lovely kan?

Here are some I wanna share with you;

Try this, sweets. It's fun :)

When the stilettos are off!

2009-06-24T10:17:00.010+08:00

Last Friday night, mum called up to offer to take care of Isaac over the weekend. How lovely!

So Honey and I thought of going out to listen to some Jazz music, an interest that we have in common :)

And since Sam is in town, I gave her a call to join us. We met up with the lovely Sam, the boyfriend, Francis and Francis's gorgeous sister, Theresa who dropped by towards the end of the night. She just got back from work. Oh yeah, she is a hot air crew *grin* :)

We initially planned for a good jazz session at Top Hat but never knew that they have shifted and changed their concept. No more life jazz band playing unless specially requested and paid for :(

So we headed to Heritage Row. Ended up at Upstairs and then shifted to Cynna :)

It was a coincidence that everybody wore coats, except me. I wore my lovely long cardigan. That explains how related are we *smile*. We had such a great time. And it was not a secret for everybody in Cynna bar that night, that we were the ones who heated the dance floor up *lol*

Took my stilettos off after hours of dancing and continued dancing wildly.

Sam and Francis, thanks for the wonderful night. And Theresa, nice to meet you. The next time, we should sit down and catch up longer than that night *smile*.

Looking forward for the next session :)

Til the next time lovelies. We took off at almost 3am. Gotta work the next day :(

The one about bus

2009-06-23T19:46:00.001+08:00

Isaac: Daddy, how come there's a TV in the bus but we don't have it in our car?

Hubby: Because Mummy will feel dizzy watching TV in car.

Isaac: Then, can Daddy buy a bus?

Hubby: Who's going to sit in it? So big.

Isaac: *He starts mentioning all his friends' and teachers' names*

Hubby: Then go where?

Isaac: School!

Hubby: Does it mean Daddy is your bus driver now?

Isaac: Yes! When I grow up, I will also become a bus driver!

Haha. Funny lil fella :)

Rain

2009-06-20T09:57:00.001+08:00

I am enjoying my moment. Stuck in heavy rain near my old office, having a workshop later.

I'm smelling the smell of heavy rain. The familiar smell. The smell that I used to look forward to everytime December came.

This is the same smell that used to make me real happy when Grandma wrapped all of us with thick blanket and then made us hot Milo to drink with some fancy desert.

This is the same smell. The same feeling.

Still looking forward for this smell. Still loving the smell.

Hot Ice Lemon Tea

2009-06-19T08:54:00.000+08:00

We are at Oldtown White Coffee having breakfast.

I ordered "One ice lemon tea please"

Then the guy taking the order asked like three times "You want hot or cold?"

ICE Lemon Tea! Of course cold la! Kane!

When we should learn not to hanky panky too much in front of Isaac

2009-06-18T19:21:00.001+08:00

I was fooling around with Honey by digging my nose using his pinky finger and then I asked him to lick his pinky finger.

Then Isaac suddenly asked;
"Daddy licks Mummy is it?"

Haha, that sounds so wrong coming out from a lil boy, man!

Toodles now. Need to heat up the Tom Yam for dinner then Knight Rider afterward.

Stunned

2009-06-17T14:43:00.005+08:00

I am stunned. Just received a bad news last few minutes.

My boss's wife is suspected to have 'Uterus Fibroid Cancer'. I have no farking idea what that is. He just told us that he is now at hospital with the wife and the wife is suspected to have 'Uterus Fibroid Cancer'. All I know is fibroids are the most frequently diagnosed tumor of the female pelvis. They are benign tumors. They are not associated with cancer, they virtually never develop into cancer, and they do not increase a woman's risk for uterine cancer.

So I am kinda hoping that after the medical check-up, the doctor can tell them that it is not 'Uterus Fibroid Cancer' but maybe just Fibroid or whatever that is better.

Anyway, I am praying for the best for her. I really do.

Be strong. Your family needs you. Especially the lil one.

Being married

2009-06-16T10:30:00.004+08:00

Obviously, before we got married Honey knew that he was getting married to a juicy, smart, funny, loving, wild and adventurous girl. And I am sure he knew what was he getting into.

That is why, Honey has given me the green light to join the travel group to Bali sometime before year end (I can't confirm the time yet, waiting for Lyn to come back to Malaysia). And, Honey has also given me the gold baton to pay a trip to Dee Anna baby in Sydney in August or September.

That doesn't include all the nights out that I have been enjoying, at least once a month.

Oh, did I tell you that he wouldn't mind if I want to join my friends for drinks and a lil bit of dancing session after work as long as they can fetch me home safely?

Being married doesn't mean that you need to stay at home, take care of your kids and just spread your legs whenever your husband gets turned on after seeing a pair of big boobs or bloody firm ass. Being married doesn't mean that you have to forget all your friends whom you've known for a good decade. Being married doesn't mean that you need to end your life.

Being married means; you've got to enjoy your life like you have never did. To be loved, to be taken care of and to be understood by your beloved partner. And most important is to be able to be your own self!

This is me. I know what am I doing. My hubby knows what is he doing. So who are you to judge?

My understatement

2009-06-09T12:42:00.005+08:00

I tend to worry about too many things. I get worried too easily. I worry about everything around me. So I thought it was okay when I got very moody for one tiny thing and then started crying for nothing. It prolonged for few months until I realised that I might suffer from post-natal depression. It was bad. It was the worse time in my life. I was young and I was not ready. But no one could be as lucky as I was. I had one thing that others didn't have. My husband.

I have the most perfect husband on this whole planet earth. He has always been there for me. Even when I started shouting at him for something that I did wrong, he will just swallow his saliva and smiled weakly at me. I was angry all the time. I was sure that it was just because of tiredness, only to discover that I needed help.

It's been few years now. I hope that when we are both ready to get pregnant again, I won't need to start worrying about this all over again. God bless us.

Annoying lil' creature

2009-06-08T16:59:00.003+08:00

Isaac is so annoying nowadays!

Everytime Honey kisses me, he will come and give his cheeks to be kissed too and when Honey refused, he will annoyingly ask "Daddy only love Mummy? Daddy doesn't love Boy?"

Ah, annoying lil' creature! :P